I (30F) have been seeing Ben (32M) for a few months. On the 5th date, I brought up more topics from our dating profiles. I specifically asked his stance on children as his profile said he didn’t have but was open to kids. Mine states doesn’t have and doesn’t want children.

During the conversation, he stated he always seen himself as a father and hadn’t ever considered not having any. I said I have no plans to have children as I life my childfree lifestyle. He started saying how cute my kid would be but was cut short when food came and the topic was dropped.

A few days later he texts me about being quieter than normal and asked if it was the kid topic. I said I had been thinking about our conversation and don’t think we are aligned long term as he possibly wants children. So I don’t think we should continue as I don’t want to lead him on.

He was upset and said he wouldn’t date someone with kids but always assumed the women he did date would want them. He continued saying it was too early for those kind of deep conversations and we should have waited.

I stated it’s a massive dealbreaker for me as I’m currently taking steps to ensure I will not be able to have children in the future.

He got more upset and compared it me asking him to move across the country. That it isn’t black and white and there are pros and cons to both. Ben went on to say the topic is a layered an we know so little about each other but have potential so don’t throw away the whole relationship over small disagreement.

I said I was getting the procedure done so children isn’t a compromise situation for me and timing of the conversation wouldn’t have changed my stance.

Ben said I was drawing very aggressive line for us. Ben stated we haven’t build enough of a relationship for me to hear him and wants to continue the conversation in person instead of over text.

AITAH for the way I handled the situation? I don’t want to continue knowing he possibly wants kids. I truly cant see where this is something that isn’t back and white clear.

EDIT: we are not together anymore as this was the breakup texts exchange.

submitted by /u/Independent-Kiwi-390 to r/AITAH
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