I [25m] have a child named Aimie [1f] with my fiancee Jess [24f]. We live together in one of the safest cities in the United States.
About four months ago, Jess and I were walking home at night with Aimie sleeping in her stroller. It was a suburban road that we've walked down hundreds of times. Suddenly, we heard several loud banging noises from around the corner. My first instinct was to check out where they came from, and so I jogged a couple of steps forward to peek and see what was going on. As it turns out, two teens were hitting the window of an SUV with a baseball bat. I watched them run away, get into a car, and peel out.
I turned around to see Jess, but she wasn't there. I looked back the way we came to see her about 50 yards away, running like her life depended on it. I called out to her a few times but she was obviously scared out of her mind and didn't hear me. A few minutes later I called her on her phone, and she picked up. I explained that it was just a couple of dumb kids with a baseball bat.
Jess sheepishly walked up a few minutes later and I couldn't help but laugh at her. She said that she grew up in a rough neighborhood (she did not) and mistook the sound for gunshots. I actually did grow up in a bad neighborhood and told her they sounded nothing like gunshots.
But what really stuck with me was her first instinct in an emergency was to abandon a 9-month-old baby and her fiance to fend for themselves as she protected her own hide.
Well, last night we were watching a documentary together, and there was a scene with a woman who was frozen in terror during an animal attack. Jess scoffed and said that if it were her, she would have fought back, especially if Aimie were with her. I looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "Yeah ... you don't really know what you'd do." Jess insisted that she would have fought tooth and nail against any threat against our daughter, to which I responded "Even a couple of kids breaking a car window with a baseball bat? Let's call it for what it is: you're kind of useless in an emergency."
Jess stood up, called me a dickhead, and walked away. It felt really shitty because she was victim-blaming the woman in the documentary when she showed herself to be a coward of comic proportions.
Were my words too harsh?
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