My daughter (21f) started dating her current boyfriend about 2 years ago. She had just broken up with her ex who she was with for 4 years, so I thought maybe it was a rebound and wasn’t too worried about it. But as time went on, their relationship became more serious than I thought it was going to be. My daughter was happier and more energetic, started eating better and actually started to take care of her health so that she could be better for him. So I wanted to get to know him more, which in my head seemed pretty reasonable, since she is my daughter. But when I talked to her boyfriend trying to get to know him better, for whatever reason he was very vague, and even seems dismissive about the topic. I thought that maybe he was just shy so asked my daughter about it, but she told me that he doesn’t really talk about him self a whole lot and even she didn’t know a whole lot about him. Besides his few hobbies, the only things she really knew about him was that he is either currently serving in or working with the Military, travels a lot for his work, speaks at least 4 different languages fluently, grew up without parents as an orphan, and where he lived. And as a mother, the fact that my daughter didn’t know much about her partner was an issue for me. He wasn’t active on social media or anything so I couldn’t go the old name search route, so when I learned that he was either currently serving or working with the military, I asked my father, a retired vet, to talk to him. But after my father had a conversation with him, he told me that her boyfriend is fine and that I shouldn’t overthink it, without any further discussion. In fact, he supports their relationship and they seemed to have become pretty close, spending time together talking in the garage, going out for drinks and food, watching old movies and even going shooting together. I feel like I need to know more about him since he is by daughter’s partner, but I also don’t want to ruin anything because I can tell my daughter is happier with him than she has ever been. I’ve even considered private investigator as an option, feel like that’s going a bit overboard. Should I just accept him for now and expect more details later, or what should I do?

Edit: I was never going to hire a PI. I just mentioned it in my post just to show the severity of my worry. And it IS possible for a parent to be worried about their child without any other hidden agenda. I was once her age and all I want for her for her to live better life than mine.

submitted by /u/Guilty-State-807 to r/AmIOverreacting
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